By Anthony Oha
Marriage is a secret society because only the initiates will tell you what they experience in it. Even in the best of marriages there are skirmishes. Many tongues have been wagging on the death of the angelic voice singer Osinachi Nwachukwu. Honestly, the Christian community in Nigeria have lost one of the best music maestros whose angelic renditions have turned many sinners to Jesus Christ. She was good in what she was divinely called to do. Her duet in “Ekwueme” with Prospa gave a new meaning to worship. She was a fit instrument in the propagation of the gospel of Jesus Christ.
About her death, there were two propositions: one of such was that she died of throat cancer while the other was that she died of domestic violence. On the throat cancer issue, it could not have been true because she performed even recently in a programme before her death. If she had throat cancer, there would have been news about that because she was too popular to be ignored. On the issue of domestic violence, there could have been some truth to it. Although there have been revelations to that through the online messages her friends shared but there are more to it.
It has often been opined by the religious extremists that the Bible was a partial account because no one has heard the side of Lucifer. Many religious philosophers believe that until Satan relates his account that the Bible will still not be complete. John Milton wrote “Paradise Lost” and “Paradise Regained” was meant to give account of Satan’s own view, but it was regarded as just a mere literature. Fair hearing is sacrosanct in law. The truth remains that the story about husband battery in the death of Osinachi should be carefully examined because her husband is yet to state his experiences with her. No man in his right senses, unless he’s a lunatic, would beat a woman without a cause.
We need to understand Osinachi’s psychological make up. Was she the too nagging type? Was she abusive? Was she in the habit of disregarding her husband’s instructions? Was her high rising profile puffing her up? Was she living up to the basic marital roles expected of her? Was she a good home manager? How much did she contribute in the proper upbringing of her children? It’s possible to have an angelic voice in a body that’s full of vile. Don’t forget that Lucifer was the commander of the choir. The music ministry, which is at the heart of God, is filled with many people who are yet to understand the true meaning of salvation.
It’s no longer news that among our gospel musicians are gays and people of queer acts. I was told what happened in a popular hotel in Owerri where a room service staff escaped being raped by a popular gospel music artiste. The boy’s shirt was torn as he struggled to escape from the grip of the gospel musician who needed to eat his anus. Everybody who heard it shuddered because it was so unbelievable that a gospel music artiste who sang ‘God of Vengeance’ could invoke the wrath of God by attempting such an abominable act. Anyway, that’s by the way!
I am not in any way supporting domestic violence and I am not in any way saying that most domestic violence result from provocation. I am only trying to say that no man will raise his hand on a woman if the woman did not give the prompting by using wrong words or insulting the man. How possible can it be for a man to begin battering his wife without being angered or pushed to reveal his animalistic instincts. Every man has his limits of control when it comes to anger management. So many people are in prison today because they couldn’t control their anger when they should.
I listened to some men recently at a drinking bar, discussing why they beat their wives. Most of them said that their wives push them to react violently. One person said that all he would do whenever his wife start any of her stubborn acts would be to leave the house for some hours to go douse his anger somewhere. He even said that he just a squabble with his wife and came out of the house to avoid battering her. I have never seen any man who says that his wife has no stubborn part. Why are most women stubborn?
I was called by a pastor to settle the squabble he had with his wife. He beat his wife mercilessly to the point of giving her black eye. I was so disturbed because of the effect it would have on their congregation. The basic matter was that this woman insulted him and his late parents by calling his family the headquarters of poverty. She even angered him the more when she called him a man with a tiny manhood in public. It was then that the spirit of God left him, and he began giving her the treatment she deserved. The mouth of a woman is fiercer than the venom of a snake.
So, Osinachi may not have been an angel if what women are known for was what she exhibited to her husband. Her husband was not right to overreact, but he might have been pushed to act badly to his wife. Honestly, women batter men more than men do. They batter men with their venomous mouth. If you allow them much space, they could turn the man to a puppet. What men want is respect from their wives and where this lacks the result is often terrible. Sometimes, I get worried when I see some strong Christian women doing what they preach against.
Inasmuch as we condemn in totality domestic violence, let’s not forget that our women need to be properly tutored to give their husbands the enabling respect and trust that would help curb these battering. Some men became what they weren’t because their wives often suspected them of doing such. Some men started womanising because their wives never believed that they never womanised. Most women are the cause of the domestic violence in their homes. They lack the will to control their tongues.
We must hear from Pastor Nwachukwu before we crucify him. Many people have advocated that he must be brought to book, but none has suggested that the man should be asked to explain how true the allegations were. It was even alleged that the woman was dating one of the popular gospel musicians. Nobody knows the truth, and nobody can confirm the truth. No woman wishes to live under domestic violence because women by nature hate stress. They walk out when it gets tough for them, religion aside.
Now it’s in the news that her husband, Pastor Nwachukwu, has been arrested by the police to explain how he battered his wife to death. If Osinachi had been alive, would she have allowed the world to know about her marital quagmires? You know the answer already. By the man’s account we should be able to understand the truth about his role in her death. He remains innocent until proven guilty. I still maintain my stand that wife battery results from women’s vitriolic bomb, which detonates and rages husbands to act madly. A married man is described as a responsible married man if he lives up to his obligations and avoid beating his wife when the devil comes to make her act badly.
If proven that Pastor Nwachukwu was guilty as charged let the law take its cause. At least it will serve as deterrent to those other men who turn their wives to punching bags at the slightest provocation. I only wish that every woman should be able to avoid what rages their husbands so that harmony will persist in their homes.
May Osinachi’s soul rest in the bosom of Jehovah. It’s only God who judges the living and the dead.
…Chief Prof Anthony Oha, fnos (Oka Edemede 1 of Umuchukwu) is a concerned citizen. ©professoroha@outlook.com
